Tuesday, November 25, 2014


Its amazing to see how far a person can come in just a years time.  I have chosen to be more private recently, for personal reasons.  But here goes.. 

I feel so horrible, and stripped having to type this, but somebody needs to know how I feel.  I honestly dont even want to share this, but some people need to know how much depression can affect a person, and their daily life.  this is it, the real feelings, The truth.  I am not mad at anyone, but can someone just show me that they care?  I don't want to sit in my room anymore talking to a cat.  Would anyone even care if I was gone?  I dont even want to think about that, but hopelessness trickles in.  People who don't get it say, oh it's fine, it will go away.  Or even things like, "Oh its not that bad, it is probably just all in your head."  THAT IS THE PROBLEM.  It is in my head, and thats why it will not go away.  Don't try and convince a person with clinical depression that there is something wrong with them, or that they should be ashamed for not hiding their depression.  The best thing you can do is just be there for that person, be a shoulder to cry on.  That is exactly how I feel.  I need a friend right now.  I need someone to help me, talk to me, LISTEN to me.  Someone that isnt my parents or a therapist.  Someone that will just cry with me, and just care.  I hate that it has come down to this.  I am so swamped right now with Therapy and doctors etc.  Where are all of the people who said they care?  The ones who said they would always be there.    I hate pretending like I am someone I'm not.  I am so lost.  You said you were going to be there, where are you?  I could keep typing... but I dont even know what else to say.  Someone, anyone...