Friday, July 25, 2014

Finding hope amidst sickness...

Still very sick :(  I went to the doctor yesterday, and was told that my pneumonia refuses to go away (Ha!), and I have the adult form of Mononucleosis... which was suspected at first.  I am continuing to smile though I feel very betrayed by my lungs.  On the very bright side, tomorrow I fly to LA to go to Newport Beach for a few weeks.  I can honestly say I am a little nervous, but a lot excited.  Blogging everyday helps a lot with my anxiety, writing is my passion.  I don't know how many people read my writing, but it means a lot to know I have somewhere I can go with my writing.  I have been passing out a lot, and am very forgetful which hurts.  It gets to the point where I have to say my name out loud just to believe that I am... well... me.  A lot of people have wondered about my faith through these trials.  I am going to be honest, when things were getting really bad a few months ago, I felt totally abandoned by God.  It took going through "The Friday Incident" to really realize where I stood.  I realized God had not abandoned me.  I find that I use the footprints prayer analogy too often, but it is so true in my life.  The story goes something like this... or at least this is my take on it:

When you go through a rough time or a "storm" some people look back at their footprints in the sand or the places they have walked through their journey, and they only see one set of footprints.  They feel alone, abandoned by a God who promises to be with us always.  They cry out to God, and he answers.  "The footprints that you see in the sand are not yours, for they are mine, I was carrying you the whole time".

That is one of my favorite stories in the world.  It gives me so much hope.  I know God never leaves me.  He was there in the Emergency room on that Friday.  He was there at the Parry Center.  He was with me in the hospital, and he is here with me now.  He always will be.

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