Saturday, August 9, 2014

These scars, they are so real.

n. a mark left on something following damage of some kind.

A Hurting and broken person.  That was me, I was hurting and broken and I chose to cut my body.  In turn, leaving various scars.  I honestly always thought "Oh that will never be me, I will never do that to my body."  But here I am, and my scars would argue otherwise.  If you are reading this, and you can look yourself in the mirror and see scars, please know that you are not alone.  In fact you are never alone.  I was a walking dead girl.  I hid for too long.  I never spoke up and asked for help until things got out of hand.  I never stopped myself.  I wish I had, but at the same time it wouldn't allow me to share that experience with other people like me.  Cutting your body, or "Self harming" (Which can take many forms) is not the answer.  If I was honest with myself, I wouldn't listen to this advice, but this is why you NEED to.  It wasn't only hurting myself, but it was hurting others around me way worse.  The people I affected were left with emotional scars that nothing I could ever do could heal.  My family, my friends and everyone close to me was hurt every time I decided to break their trust in me.  I lost trust.  I lost my mind.  Now I can't look at a pencil sharpener and not think of the damage I could do, how corrupted is that?!  It has been 2 months, and a lot of hard work for me to say I am clean.  They are no longer cuts, but healing scars.  The definition of a scar is spot on.  I was damaged by depression and chose to cause scars, which in turn caused its own damage.  It is a vicious cycle.  If you are reading this and hurting, I have a different answer for you.  Jesus.  Don't run for a blade, run for the cross as fast as you can.  You don't have to listen to me, after all Im just sixteen.  What do I know?  But I do know something.  I know that my scars are healing, and there is so much hope.

Death to life.  Like I said, I was a walking dead girl.  I went from death to life.  This website and this ministry helped change my life.  For all of those who are hurting and broken, it is an outlet for you to talk with other people about hope, instead of giving up.

I love you all, and always be strong.

Hebrews 2:10 -
"For it was fitting that he, for whom and by whom all things exist, in bringing many sons to glory, should make the founder of their salvation perfect through suffering."

<3 Mads

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